Find a way
by Isadtd
Summary: Richard Castle writes mystery novels, some plays - unpublished -  and.. songs ?
1. Chapter 1

Author's note : It's been a while since I wrote in english. So bear with me. But I'm happy to hear every critic. This is not beta'd.

I don't like song fics, but this is one because, well it's that idea that popped in my head. No lyrics in it, because that's what I hate. This isn't quite the kind of story I wanted to write but I'm starting again. I'm testing the waters, sort of.

Disclaimer : I don't own anything.

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><p>Having a famous novelist for partner had its perks. Kate Beckett was able to recognize as much. Last week, her shadow offered tickets for Jason Mraz's concert. For all the gang. So, as she stood, enjoying said concert, with Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny, she could admit that Richard Castle was not just an annoying man-child.<p>

"Where's Castle ?", asked Esposito, stepping away from Lanie and leaning closer to Beckett so she would hear him over the music.

"How would I know ? He said he had someone to see. Haven't seen him since", she answered loudly. Castle had left them some twenty minutes ago, disappearing into the crowd to the back of the venue. She smirked at Esposito before adding : "Miss him already ?"

"He said he would bring beer !", Esposito pouted but turned back to the concert.

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><p>When Castle finally joined them again, he was indeed carrying beers.<p>

"Man ! Took you long enough !". Esposito grunted, passing the beers along to Ryan, Jenny and Lanie who were standing in front of him.

"You're welcome !", Castle shouted at him. « It's so easy to carry four glasses in a crowd", he mumbled. He drew nearer to Beckett :

"You're sure you didn't want one ?", he asked Beckett, leaning in so he spoke directly in her ear. She shook her head. Her hair brushed his face with the movement and she saw his eyes closing for a moment, his lips curving upwards. He was smelling cherries.

"How would you have transported it anyway ?", she asked loudly.

He leaned back so he could look her in the eyes. "I would have found a way".

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><p>The concert ended and the crowd was walking towards the exists. But Castle steered them to the left side of the stage.<p>

"I have a surprised" He exclaimed, smiling broadly. "Hey Jerry !" He bumped his fist with the security guard as the large man let them enter backstage. The three detectives and the medical examiner, used to the author's antics, rolled their eyes. Jenny, on the other hand, was in awe.

"Don't tell me we're gonna meet Jason Mraz ?", she asked excitedly.

"We are", Castle simply replied, happy to have impressed at least one person.

The corridors were pretty busy with musicians and technicians, but with Castle's guidance, they quickly found the artist's dressing-room.

"Rick, he greeted. What's up ?"

Castle bowed "Enjoying yet another concert. Thank you. I want you to me meet the finest of the NYPD. Detectives Kate Beckett, Kevin Ryan, and his fiancée, Jenny, Javier Esposito and Dr Lanie Parish. » Pleasantries and compliments were exchanged and the group enjoyed a nice little chat. Castle was standing back. Beckett noticed he was very quiet and gave him a look, lifting an eyebrow. Her partner just shrugged. After a few more minutes, he butted in the conversation.

"...Jason, you must be tired. We better let you rest."

"Oh, yes, sorry", the others added. "Thank you again. The concert was really great !"

"Don't worry, it's always nice to meet new people", the star said, shaking their hands. "Rick, I'm still waiting for another song."

This spiked Lanie's curiosity : "'Another' song ? Castle ?" Her eyes went from the singer to the author.

"He didn't tell you ? He wrote a song on the album We Sing, We Dance, We st..."The artist stopped mid-sentence, noticing his friend wildly shaking his head. "And I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it ?" He then mouthed "sorry" to Castle, who was hurrying everyone out the door.

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><p>But this piece of information was not yet forgotten. Once on the sidewalk outside, the detectives decided to grill the author. They were intrigued that Castle would hide this, when he was so proud of his writing.<p>

"Come one, Castle, spill !, deadpanned Ryan, like he was interrogating a suspect. Which song it is ?"

"I didn't write it per say"

"So there is a song...", noted Esposito.

Castle sighed heavily. Beckett took pity oh her partner. But just a little. "I didn't know you wrote songs Castle. That's great. Why wouldn't own to it ?"

Castle looked at them. Ryan and Esposito stern stares, Jenny and Lanie amused smiles, Beckett smirk and arched eyebrow. He sighed again and decided to talk.

"He's a friend. At a party, we talked about... something and he said it would make a great song. So he took some things I said and turned them into lyrics. I didn't wrote any song. I just... gave him ideas. Happy ?"

"Which song ?", Jenny pushed, surprising everyone.

"Ah.. I'm not telling", Castle insisted. "Now... It's late. See you on monday, guys, Good night", he quickly added. He hailed a cab and went off. The others stood there shaking their head.

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><p>It was barely nine, the following morning. Esposito cursed whoever was calling him this early on a sunday. He rolled over in the bed and picked his cell-phone up on the nightstand, not bothering checking the caller ID.<p>

"Esposito... What the ?... And ?... Seriously ?.. What does it say ?... No !.. Yeah, I'll tell her. You too, man." He hung up and turn to face a still sleepy Lanie on the other side of the bed.

"That was Ryan. Jenny found the song : If it kills me..."

This woke her up : "Not the song with the guy in love with his best friend and the 'you know nothing' and the 'can't say it even after all we've been through'", she cited, sitting up.

"That one", he confirmed.

"Well..."

"Well..."

They looked at each other, contemplating.

"I don't know what to do with this piece of information", Lanie finally stated.

"I say we let it rest, Esposito nodded, as if to convince himself. He'll find a way."

End.

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><p>Author's notedisclaimer bis : The song is If it kills me by Jason Mraz, and of course, Richard Castle didn't write it. I guess it's Jason Mraz himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note : I didn't plan to continue this but I heard a song on my iPod and inspiration struck. So, this is me embracing song fics (well...just this once).

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><p>Jenny's and Ryan had been wonderful. The happy couple was on the dance floor, enjoying a slow dance after the long but beautiful day. In spite of the late hour, no one seemed ready to go just yet. Happy chatter could be heard from the tables and the bar area. Laughs and sweet whispers resonated from the still packed dance floor of the hotel ballroom.<p>

Beckett and Lanie were in deep conversation with Ryan's sisters. The four women were exchanging stories about the poor Ryan. The more embarrassing the better. From the bar, Esposito spotted it and elbowed Castle, who was talking Derek Storm and crime novels with Jenny's mother.

"Bro, we need to do something about that !" He said gravely, his chin motioning to the laughing women. "Sorry Mrs O'", he added, before leading Castle away by the elbow. After a detour to bring the Ryan girls' husbands, he barged into the conversation with a bright smile plastered on his face.

"Ladies !", he started, then turned to Lanie "Milady, may I have this dance ?"

"You may", Lanie answered playfully. Ryan's sisters were already whisked away by their respective man, leaving Castle and Beckett.

Smiling slightly, Castle tilted his head a bit and extended his hand to her. His eyes asking the unspoken question. Beckett bit her lip, damning his charm and the fact that he knew how to turn it on. She accepted the hand and they made their way to the dance floor, trying to find a spot. As observant as they usually were, they both missed the look that passed from Esposito to Ryan to Jenny to the DJ.

The song ended shortly after Castle and Beckett arrived, another one started. Castle did a double take. It was Jason Mraz' "If it kills me". He caught Ryan's gaze and glared. Still dancing with his wife, the young detective held his hands in mock surrender, trying to convey it wasn't his fault. Then a finger pointed at Jenny's back. Castle continued to glare at him. He was getting uncomfortable with Beckett in his arms, which was not what he wanted to feel while having her there. He listened carefully hoping the blaring music was too loud to understand the lyrics. He was trying to convince himself of that when Jenny and Kevin swirled by them.

"I love this song !", The blond women told Beckett."Especially the lyrics, they are so..."

"Meaningful", Ryan supplied, careful not to smile. They went away and Castle was mortified. He was looking straight ahead over Beckett's head, thankful that she was tall, but not that tall.

Meanwhile, Beckett had been confused. First she had felt Castle tensed for the second song. Then this bizarre conversation had occurred. She was going to ask him if he knew what was going on when her brain registered the lyrics of the song.

"_All I really wanna do is love you_

_A kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through"_

She remembered the concert. The singer's question about another song. Castle's elusive answer about his song writing. And it fell into place. This was the song he wrote. Her heart was thumping, from panic, she reckoned. 'Should I say something', she wondered. But she didn't know what to say. She was in turmoil, she didn't even know what she felt. Her course of action seemed clear. Ignore it as usual.

And they continued swaying like nothing had happened.

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><p>A few days later, Beckett had had the chance to listen properly to the song and to do a lot of thinking. If the Nikki Heat's books were, as Natalie Rhodes so tastefully put it, "literally verbal masturbation", the song was yet on another level. Practically a love letter. No, not practically, she amended. It just plainly was a love letter.<p>

She was once again pondering that as she and Castle were driving back from a crime scene. A pretty boring one since uniforms had apprehended the perpetrator near the body. The mentally ill man had already confessed, his bloody clothes, hands and knife letting little doubt in anyone's mind. Their trip had been solely for the sake of procedure.

For once, the radio was on and Castle was humming along. It annoyed her but she knew to choose her battles. At least he wasn't singing his made-up cop theme song. She interrupted her daydreaming when she recognized a ten year old song she liked. She remembered going to Macy Gray's concert with her college friends.

At that moment, a weird and completely out of character idea insinuated itself in her mind. She glanced at Castle who was still humming softly, looking through his window.

Just as Macy Gay sang the line "Here is my confession", she decided to jump.

"I wished I had written this song", she said loudly. Her voice sounded strange to her. She was observing him from the corner of her eyes. When she had spoken, he had turned abruptly to her. He was staring at her like she had grown a second head. On the radio Macy Gray was still singing.

_"I play it off but I'm dreamin of you_

_I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin'_

_I try to say good bye and I choke_

_I try to walk away and I stumble_

_Though I try to hide it it's clear_

_My world crumbles when you are not near"_

Nervous as hell, she tried to steal glances at him and not drive them into a lamp pole.

"Yeah ?", he asked finally, after a very obvious gulp.

"Yeah"

"I like it."

"I like the Jason Mraz' song", Beckett responded.

She was smiling coyly. He was smiling brightly. His chest tightening, his heart thumping, he stared at her. She was not doing much better. They stayed silent for a while. When his heart had slowed down a bit, he turned back to her, feeling bold. He knew he had that smug look on his face. He didn't care.

"You know that if you weren't driving, I would be kissing you right now ?" He braced himself for the shout down.

"We're nearly there", she replied, enjoying the look on his face, like he was about to burst.

As soon as the car was parked, his hands were cupping her face and he was kissing her. Her hands flew to his hair and she was kissing him back.

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><p>The end.<p> 


End file.
